Life is the ever-constant teacher. I have shared in previous radio and blog posts about what you focus on and how you focus on it, tends to direct the feelings and thoughts in other areas of your life. I have often focused on the wrong things and it ultimately left my day with emptiness and bitterness. It really does make a difference whether you see your “glass as half full or half empty.”
I am an optimist for the most part – but when things don’t go as planned – when I start finding fault – my little optimistic brain spirals downwards in a heartbeat. Thankfully, God has been helping me to fix my thoughts on Him – the good He has provided and the good in situations and people. This is especially important as I coach and mentor women and couples.
I’m not saying that you have to become a Positive Polly – but I would challenge you to consider the following Bible verses along with a past coaching experience.
In Proverbs 4:23 it says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” First, let’s look at the word wellspring. dictionary.com’s definition is, “a source or supply of anything, especially when considered inexhaustible”. This gives us such a beautiful visual of our hearts – they flow constantly – are inexhaustible.
Matthew 12:34 gives us additional information; “out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks”. Through these two verses, we can see that it is important to guard what we allow into our hearts, as well as ears, eyes, and minds.
Second of all, we find that what we allow in, will eventually come back out through our mouths. The day I focused on a negative situation was the day that not only became frustrating and bitter, but the things that came out of my mouth were demeaning and bitter and ugly. That day was a turning point for me.
I do my best to choose to focus on where God is working, what He is doing, and the people He wants me to love and serve – not based on them – but based on God loving them through me.
Since life lessons are great teachers, I shared this with a young wife. She visited with me about how everything was wrong with her marriage. He didn’t do some things, and then he did other things she didn’t like. She started focusing on all the negatives until there was no room for any positive thoughts about him or her marriage. The source of her heart – the wellspring – had turned sour and the bitter and nagging comments from her mouth were the result.
I asked her to look for the good in her husband. She immediately told me he was a good man. She started talking about how he was a diligent provider and a list of other qualities and characteristics that were wonderful.
I almost saw the lightbulb go on inside her head – she pretty much figured out all by herself that she had forgotten about the value and worth of her husband.
I encouraged her to start thinking and reminding herself about who she married – her friend, lover, confidant, encourager. This, of course, did not address all the ‘wrong’ things in her marriage, but it did provide a more positive setting for them to work through the issues.
I didn’t hear from her again until months later… a simple text thanking me for my time and encouragement and that her and her husband were back together and the issues seemed to be working themselves out.
Above all else – guard your heart. Let God pour into your heart through reading His Word and talking with Him daily – all throughout your day. Be careful what music you let yourself listen to. Be cautious of the movies and TV you allow to penetrate your mind … because your legacy to your family is what you pour out to them.
Blessings in Your Blending!