Dan and I recently updated our Wills. It was a particularly joy-filled event for me. You see, for many years, our Wills were different. I guess that is not a big deal – since we are a blended family. But it has been bugging me for quite a while that our Wills were not reflective of what we had been telling our kids, such as: “we are a family,” “we will always be here for you,” “I love you like my own kids.”
Drawing up new Wills where upon our deaths the kids get everything – doled out equally – my stuff to all four kids, and Dan’s stuff to all four kids, was almost like signing a certificate of a new marriage and family – complete. This time we were really “putting our money where our mouth is!”
Along with updating our Wills, we wrote letters to each of the kids. It felt so very strange writing a letter to them that they will read after I’m gone. I wanted to make sure that I included the most important things in life that I would want them to know. It was my last opportunity to impart wisdom and encouragement to them.
Now, you may not be at a place where you are ready to commit to leaving everything equally to all your children, but I would definitely encourage you to have a Will, so everyone knows what your wishes are after you’re gone.
I would, also, challenge you to write a note to all your children – bio, step, etc. This note doesn’t have to be long, but should contain words from your heart, full of hope that your blended family will someday feel “normal,” whole, and permanent.
I believe that taking the time to write these letters will spur you on to make today a better day for your family. It will make you want to say things to your family that otherwise you might skip over or never think about.
Our families need love, attention, and being intentional with your time with them … in other words – put the smartphone down.
Hebrews 3:13 says, “Encourage one another daily, as long as it is still today so that none of you will be deceived by sin.”
A life never encouraged is a sad one. I can’t imagine growing up and not hearing my parents tell me how proud they were of me or that I could do anything I set my mind to.
Our children are the same – they need to hear good words from you. Don’t wait until it’s too late – you’ve got today so get going!
Blessings in your blending!