I love the story of Esther in the Bible. She was supposed to find a husband in her town of Susa where her cousin Mordecai had raised her. She was supposed to marry a Jew, and maybe had hopes and dreams of marrying one of the local boys who had caught her eye. She was supposed to stay close to family since both her parents had died early in her life.
So many “supposed” things, but God had other plans. To briefly summarize, Esther was instead swept up into a harem at the royal palace. She was with strangers and suddenly living a strange life. She also had to be secretive about being a Jew. Now comes the good part. King Xerxes found favor with Esther, and through a wonderful mystery romance, she saved the Jews and became queen!
There are two lessons that jump out at me from the book of Esther. The first lesson is wisely receiving instruction from your elders. Esther did not act on her own. She had godly counsel. Mordecai saw Esther’s situation and also saw the potential. Receiving constructive criticism or counsel can be difficult. Let me encourage you to put away your pride and seek wisdom from those who have walked this blended family journey successfully.
The second lesson is the importance of being in community. Esther had a big challenge ahead of her. Wisely, Esther told Mordecai to gather the Jews to fast for three days. She would not be taking this challenge on alone. We, as blended family moms, need each other. We can lift each other up in prayer, share experiences and provide encouragement along the way.
How many dreams and hopes did you suppose would happen in your young life? Did you ever suppose you would be married more than once? Did you ever think you would have to go through the agony of divorce or abandonment? Did you ever dream of having stepchildren? I’m going to guess these were not a part of your grand vision for your life.
Let me encourage you though – you are an Esther! Don’t ever think you have messed up your life so badly that it can’t be amazing and influential from here on. Don’t ever think your circumstances prevent the happy ending. When we face the most struggle in our lives, I believe God is working the hardest to shape, mold and create us to become mighty women for Him and His kingdom. Esther 4:14 says, “And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?” Esther went through unsure times, fearful times, and then truly relied on the God of her people to show her how to save her people and herself.
As a stepmom, you are probably facing many difficulties. I know I have been jealous of my husband’s relationship with his children. I lived in the knowledge that for the first few years of our marriage, my husband would have prioritized his children over me. My daughter didn’t want anything to do with my new husband for almost two years. I had issues with how much authority I actually had with my stepchildren. The list goes on. But years ago, I was encouraged when I read the story of Esther and realized that maybe I was placed in this blended family for “such a time as this.” I sought godly counsel and then reached out to others to pray for my family. This did not save a nation as Esther did, but it did save a family! My accomplishments are not as glamorous as Queen Esther’s, but being an instrument used by God to blend two families and keep a marriage intact is a pretty nice claim to fame!
Blessings in Your Blending!