When I started journaling about my thoughts and feelings about being a mom in my blended family, my mind often swirled with questions such as, “Why am I the one here and having to put up with his kids? Why am I in a marriage where my husband would choose his kids over me? God, my first husband dying was so hard…why would you put me in this almost impossible situation? Why would You put my children in such difficult situations? Of course, God didn’t give me immediate answers to these questions…but He did reveal this to me…He said, I picked you.
So let’s just back up to 1963. I was adopted. Growing up, I loved hearing the story about how my folks got a telegram from a hospital in Fort Worth saying they had a baby up for adoption. They traveled far and then set their eyes on me and said, She’s ours! They would embellish the story – I’m sure – but I grew up knowing that out of so many children – they chose me.
Later on in life, as I came to know Christ, I became deeply grateful that God would orchestrate my parents choosing me. My parents were wonderful. They loved me, disciplined me, showered me with gifts, and encouraged me. I was also very aware that because I was given up for adoption – I had more than likely been saved from a life of rejection or abuse. I was removed from a bad situation and placed into loving arms of unconditional love.
Now let’s skip again in life to 2009. My mom was diagnosed with beginning stages of Alzheimer’s. That was a tough road. But through the tears and the questions of why and why her, God gently gave me these words… I picked you. God picked me to be their child – knowing that later on in life, they would need me and I would be there for them. I’ve lost my mom to that horrible disease, but my dad is still here and even lives with us now. God picked me to take care of His faithful servant in the later years of his life.
I share these things with you to let you know that God has picked you! There is no place on this earth that you can be without God knowing and there is no situation you can get yourself into that God can’t guide you through or in or out of.
Psalm 139 is a chapter that speaks to my soul. Let me share part of that with you. “O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord. You hem me in – behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. Where can I go from you Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.”
So we have this Almighty God who knows all and created all and yet knows and cares for you. Not only does He know and care for you — He chose you.
Ephesians 1:4-5 says “For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love, he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will – to the praise of his glorious grace.” It goes on in verse 11 to say, “In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will.”
Your life, your marriage, your family – has the opportunity to be a reflection of God’s grace, provision, miracles and blessings.
Are you in a tough marriage? Are you not bonding with his children? Is this blended mom thing too difficult? So many questions you can keep asking, but God is telling you, I picked you. You are not in a situation where God cannot bring victory. You are not in a place that God cannot change and shape into a beautiful reflection of Him. Rest in the fact that you have been chosen and are not alone in this marriage and family. God’s hand will guide you – His right hand will hold you fast.
So what do you bring to this blended family – this marriage? Whoever you are, God has equipped you specifically to meet the needs of this new family. He picked you!
Blessings in Your Blending!