Your blended family is unique. Mine came about in 2004 from death and divorce, included four children ages 13 up, a granddaughter and a grandson on the way – all living with us. Hindsight is always good to provide us with clarity, so I want to use mine (hindsight) to give you some ideas and encouragement to help you in your blended family.
First off, I want to encourage you to be creative. You are going to come across problems – or may have some already existing – that are going to need a fresh approach. Proverbs 18:15 (in the Living Bible translation) says, “The intelligent man is always open to new ideas. In fact, he looks for them.”
When I was confronted with a situation I had no idea how to handle, I went to a counselor and got her perspective – a new idea. That was the beginning point of my growth as the matriarch in my new family.
Ephesians 4:23-24 says, “Your attitudes and thoughts must be constantly changing for the better. You must be a new and different person, holy and good.” I guess I proved the saying “you can teach an old dog new tricks,” to be true. It is important to understand you cannot keep doing the same things in the same way with a new blended family. So step back and take a larger look.
Secondly, I want to encourage you to hang in there and be diligent. New pressures will require conviction on your part. In today’s world, it is very easy to give up on something – a marriage, a job, schooling, or a relationship. We have forgotten how to dig in and not give up.
God’s Word tells us in Isaiah 40:31, “Those who trust in the Lord for help will find their strength renewed.” Romans 12:2 tells us, “Don’t let the world squeeze you into its mold, but let God remake you so your whole attitude of mind is changed.” Paul shares with us in 2 Corinthians
1:8-9, “We were under great pressures far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even for life. […] But this happened so we might not rely on ourselves but on God.”
These verses assure us that we have a God who is everything we need to help us be the wife and mom He would have us be. Don’t give up. Don’t quit. Your struggle may not magically end in a week or month, but don’t rely on yourself … rely on the Creator of the universe, the One who created you and knows even the very number of hairs on your head!
Lastly, I’m going to tell you your creativity and conviction will require courage. Again, your courage does not come from reliance on yourself, but on God. Hosea 10:12 (in the Good News translation) says, “Plow new ground for yourselves, plant righteousness, and reap the blessings that your devotion to me will produce! It’s time for you to turn to me, your Lord, and I will come and pour out blessings upon you.” In Isaiah 43:18-19, it says, “Don’t cling to the events of the past or dwell on what happened long ago. Watch for the new thing that I (God) am going to do!”
This blending of broken families just may be the hardest thing you have ever attempted. But be creative and open to keep trying new things until something works. Be strong in your conviction to stand firm and not let the world tell you this can’t be done. Find your courage in God who knows where you are and what you are going through. He is ready and willing to give you everything you need to blend your family into something beautiful!