Proverbs 12:4 — An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.
You are a stepparent. That is about the same as calling you a Super Hero! Not only have you decided to become a wife and take on that lifetime challenge, but you have also thrown in children – whether they be yours, his, and, quite possibly, some “ours!”
The day I married Dan, I became a wife, stepmom, and grandmother. I think my Super Hero cape has some bling on it for that! I had a good marriage before Dan, and then seven years of widowhood. That is a lot of time to think about things that went well in the first marriage and things that didn’t go so well. I wanted to make sure with Dan, I was going to be a godlier wife, more mature in my living and thinking. As the Proverbs verse said, I wanted to be an excellent wife that would be the crown on Dan’s head; I certainly didn’t want to make his bones rot!
There were a couple of things I did that hopefully helped Dan in this blended family marriage. I let him lead – well, most of the time I tried to let him lead! 1 Corinthians 11:3 says, “But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.” Your husband has a very large responsibility to Christ – which is under God. If hubby makes wrong decisions for you and your family, he is the one to take the heat for that. So I take Dan’s responsibility as my husband very seriously. I believe, therefore, it is my job to help make that responsibility as joyous and pain free as possible. When we are faced with decisions or obstacles in our marriage, I am there to help him talk through scenarios and possibilities. I offer opinions without penalties. For example, I don’t offer my opinion and then tell Dan his opinion is dumb or wrong. This takes trusting that God will take care of me, and that includes trusting God to lead Dan and our family.
I would like to encourage you to start thinking about how your actions and words are a crown on your husband’s head. Can you picture it? Is his crown tarnished? Does it still have a nice round shape or does it look like a truck ran over it? Have some of the jewels fallen out? I am hoping Dan’s crown doesn’t have too many scrapes and dings on it. I want his crown to be breathtaking – shiny, elegant, beautiful, hard-working, creative, respectful, loving, thoughtful, helpful, gentle and giving. Remember, his crown is a reflection of you. So, get out your cape, you Super Stepmom, and if you have a tiara, I would rock that as well!