The story of Esther keeps swirling around in my head. There are so many things to learn from this woman. Let’s take a look and see what lessons she would have for us blended family mamas.
First, she married a man who had already been married and disposed of his past queen. Can you imagine the fear Esther might have had coming into this situation? One wrong move, and King Xerxes could have snapped his fingers and Esther might have been disposed of as well. Her new position was precarious.
Are you seeing some resemblances in your situation? When I married Dan, our new family came with some fear for me too. I questioned if I was strong enough to handle this blended family and be the wife Dan needed. The beautiful lesson here is Esther’s walk in faith. She trusted her life to God. He brought her into this situation and He was going to have to get her through it. I don’t know how easy or hard your blended family is – but without faith in God, it seems too overwhelming to even attempt. So if you have fears and are discouraged about your blended family, seek God and ask Him to increase your faith.
Secondly, Esther showed us that a little kindness goes a long way. When Esther was gathered up and brought to King Xerxes’ palace, she showed kindness and respect to Hegai – the eunuch in charge of the palace harem. Chapter 2, verse 9 of Esther says that she pleased Hegai and won his favor. Kindness, respect, humility and meekness; Esther didn’t come into her new surroundings with demands and arrogance – but treated others as nicely as she could.
There are some of these qualities I tried to exude in our blended family – allowing time and space for each family member to adjust to one other; talking in private about matters instead of airing grievances openly; and attempting to say positive things over each family member. Despite what you do – or don’t do – well, you can take this important lesson from Esther … even in the worst of situations, you can still maintain manners and show respect. More than likely, you are not the only one in your family who is struggling or hurting. So ‘killing with kindness’ just may be the way to ease situations and open doors of communication and positive relationships.
Lastly, in Esther 4:14, Mordecai says to Esther, ‘And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?’ I have said this verse many times in my head. It is a precious reminder that there are tough times I will face; things required of me I won’t believe I’m capable of doing; tasks that are impossible to undertake … but I’m not in this alone.
Philippians 1:6 says, “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Just as God choreographed Esther from a young virgin girl to becoming a queen and saving her people – God has started a good work in you – to be in this blended family, to bind hearts, to save a family … and God can carry you and your work to completion.
If you are questioning why you decided to attempt being a step mom, stop fearing and ask God: fuel up your faith, make sure you are dispensing kindness and respect, and then trust that for such a time as this, God can use you in a mighty way to save your people – your very special and precious blended family.