How many times have I created grand scenarios in my life involving family, friends or experiences only to end up in the realm of reality with a bitter taste in my mouth? If I would have walked into relationships and situations with little or no expectations, I would not have been so disappointed. I guess I have set myself up for failure too many times. But the good thing about doing things the wrong way, is that at some point you hopefully learn how to do things the right way!
In the beginnings of my blended family, I pursued perfection. I demanded diligence. I coerced cooperation. I figured that under my new regime things would run smoother than ever before. I had high expectations. I wonder if God stood and watched and just laughed at my ignorance.
Have you come into your new family with your own expectations?
Have you decided that your marriage would work a certain way?
Have you assumed your step children will love you immediately and do things as you dictate?
Do you believe that your husband will realize that your way of parenting is the best?
Oh, it’s good to dream. It’s great to walk in positivity. I also believe that in certain areas of life, we can rise to the expectations of others. But … in this fragile new family, you are going to need to place your expectations in something other than a man who may have been married before and has his own children; you are going to have to trust in someone who knows the troubled waters you are treading in.
You see, the blended family is tough to blend. You have some original ingredients and then some that have been used – or leftover from another recipe. Those ingredients can be delicate. Without proper storage, they will rot and spoil. That’s a lot of pressure on you. You are now the master chef – blend carefully.
2 Corinthians 9:8 says, “God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.” God is able. He is the one to equip you – give you the tools for this unique and precious journey.
Philippians 4:19 says, “God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”
God will supply. This is exactly where your expectations should be – in God. He is the one that will provide you with understanding, patience and compassion to begin to move your family towards blending. Everything you need for this amazing, unpredictable, sometimes thankless job will be given to you. Trust in God and His way of doing things. Yes, you may go unnoticed. You might be ignored. You may believe that you are the only one trying to make this new family work. God sees you. He knows that beauty can come from the destruction and demolition of two previous families. God will equip you day by day. Place your expectations in Him. So, go grab your spoon and start stirring!