If you want to know about flowers, you go talk to a florist. If you want to learn about cars, you could get to know a mechanic. But where would you go to find out everything there is to learn about love? 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. Verses 4-6 tells us what love does and does not do … “love is patient and kind. Love does not envy, or boast. It is not proud, not rude, not self-seeking, not easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” Then Verse 7 continues with an adjective before each verb listed … “love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres, never fails” – which, to me, means always succeeds. I find it interesting that the word ‘always’ does not appear in front of the description of love as patient and kind! I guess God knew we would never be able to do that! LOL
As I linger on these verses I see a beautiful picture of what unconditional love looks like. I want to give that to my husband. I want my children to know what that is and give it to their own children. Many years ago, my step son was in a situation where another person had threatened him. I held my step son and vowed that this person would have to come through me first before getting to him – and I wasn’t going to let that happen. My step son saw my protection.
My children have hopefully seen my trust in them. Of course, they are going to make mistakes, but I look at a ‘bigger picture’ – I try to see them learning from each positive thing in life and each negative. I’m trusting God will guide them and course correct them when needed. I am praying that my children have seen my hope in them – believing in their God-given talents and encouraging them to go out and use these gifts and talents. When I take my last breath, my hope is that my children will know that I persevered in my love for them – never gave up but continued to find ways to reach out to them in every stage and season of their lives. I will be blessed if they will know that my love never stopped – never failed.
Many of you may be intimidated about this word ‘love’ and the weight this little four-letter word carries. But just as I have spelled out some different ways that love is shown, hopefully you can see that it just takes a choice. You have the choice to trust or disbelieve, persevere or quit, protect or leave to their own defenses. Start off by speaking to your children daily about how you love them so much you would fight giants; love them so much you would trust them with your life; love them so much that you have high hopes for them; love them so much that you will stand by them through thick and thin; love them so much – unconditionally – forever. I am a true believer in speaking over my husband and children – this daily exercise of declaring your love to your kiddos is an easy way to do that. In fact, you are also speaking over yourself! You will be amazed at how this will help you with your step kids.
So the next time you are frustrated with your life as a step mom, go back to the very basics of love. God did not leave us to be wives, mom and step moms without a guidebook. 1 John 4:19 gives us our greatest example of love; “we love because He first loved us”. He displayed every facet of love and it’s all right there in the “love chapter” in 1 Corinthians, Chapter 13. Go love!