The cold hard fact – fellow blended family moms – is that our marriages have been born from brokenness … your side or your husband’s (or both). Statistically, the odds are not in our favor. I’m Dan’s (my husband) fourth wife, so last time I checked, we have about a 14% success rate! But … that does not include God in the picture. That does not include coming into this marriage and bringing understanding about priorities and what you can expect from each other. Consider these three areas of ‘the bigger picture’ of your marriage:
- Your husband is to be your highest earthly priority. That statement causes much angst; I know because I’ve been there. This also brings much security; you see, kids see and hear everything. They also wonder if this marriage will last. You have an opportunity to show the children what a successful, strong marriage looks like. So choose to respect and honor your spouse and prioritize him.
- Number 1 takes time. It took Dan about 5-6 years before he could truly prioritize me over his children. I knew that this process would take time (thank goodness God gave me patience). We discussed this – I cried over it – we tried to understand, but at least we confronted it. Please do this with your spouse. You can’t move towards oneness in marriage without healing some brokenness, and having a patient, understanding heart towards each other and the paths that ultimately brought you together. The payoff is huge!!
- Number 1 and 2 can be done and marriage can be pretty good. But I want you to have an extraordinary marriage. That means you need an extraordinary factor – God. God created man and woman for oneness. We blew that. God created us for marriages lasting a lifetime. We blew that too. But God, being a ‘bigger picture’ God, provided us a way to still achieve oneness and extraordinary – His Son, Jesus. This Jesus, born of a virgin, walked as man on this earth, always pointing us to the love of the Father. Then he did the unthinkable – He was beaten and mocked, torn and bruised for our sins – our brokenness – all of them. Then to show His authority over death, He arose from the grave after three days. He is victorious over sin – over death – over your brokenness. He can and will take the fragments of your life and turn them into a beautiful mosaic – He can. He will. You have to let Him, though. By doing things our own way, we tend to mess things up. I want something more. I know and believe it’s possible. I am living proof of that ‘possible’. I want you to have that too.
Prioritize your husband – wait patiently for you and him to prioritize each other and then shoot for the moon – give your life and marriage to Jesus – it’s gonna be beautiful!